Mistakenly, I thought at age 21 Emil might be willing to let go of some of the stuffed animals he never looks at (to my knowledge). They were stuffed behind the bed, stuffed in the closet, stuffed on the shelf in the bedroom at the old house. But he insisted on bringing them along, and he piles them all on his bed every morning and throws them in a heap on a chair every night.
The stuffed animal of honour is the sheep that Jane Siberry gave him after a concert at the Manhattan Ballroom outside Saskatoon one frigid winter night:
Joan, thank you for the tip on placing photos easily! It works like a charm.
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Yesterday marked five years since Mom's death. I had, a week late this year as well as last, found a memoriam verse and emailed it to the Wadena News in the morning. I had shed a tear while thinking about Mom, but wasn't marking the anniversary by feeling low or even particularly solemn; had almost forgotten the significance of the actual date. My aunt Shirley met me in town for lunch and I did some running around and got home late in the afternoon with groceries and was just about to put my feet up for a minute when Joanne called, wondering whether I was having an okay day or not.
I always like thinking and talking about Mom, so the call was welcome. I love that Joanne misses her too, and that she cares enough to check in with me. How nice is that? What can I say. It's good to bring Mom into the present in whatever way we can. After five years, the uncomfortable thing is that time seems to be taking Mom further away rather than healing the loss; as if I've gone on, and Mom's been left in the past.
My son Luke(almost 20)also has a room full of stuffed animals and little gee gaws on his shelves. I thought they were invisible to him until one day I noticed that Max the little bear he always slept with, who now resides on the shelf with the gee gaws, was on his bed. I said " awwwww Max, I haven't seen him for a while!" And Luke said very casually (speaking volumes)"yeah, I just thought I'd bring him down."
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean with this beautiful blog. My Mom is still with us but I feel this way about my Granny. I love thinking of her but it is always tinged with the guilt of how long it's been since I did.
ReplyDeleteWhen Mom has been the cornerstone its a tough one to get over. Many a day I think if only Mom were here. Such is life and we must move forward. They may be gone but will never be forgotten. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely entry. My mom is still here but this August will be the 5th anniversary of my dad's death. I like to think and talk about him, too. It keeps him present, somehow.
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