The head shot hangs in the hallway outside my bedroom door. Taken scant weeks after her diagnosis of terminal cancer, it shows her smiling, freshly lipsticked, with her sister's loving hand on her shoulder.
This morning, looking into the bathroom mirror while brushing my teeth, remembering last night, I say to myself, "It's reality, girl; it's not as if every damn one of us doesn't lose our mom sometime. Don't wallow and whine."
So I won't.
Instead I'll winge about the weather.
Last weekend the snow was melting.
This weekend we've had more snow and the wind's biting cold.
It won't last long now, but still . . . it won't be missed when it finally goes.
Wow! We must be joined at the brain or at the emotion. I wrote about the same thing---it's been on my mind all weekend.
ReplyDeleteDead Mothers
ReplyDeleteHere's what I know
you cannot lose a mother at the cemetery.
She catches a ride back to the reception,
listens to every word said, standing
against the wall because standing is good
when there are not enough chairs,
notices who is having another highball,
reminds you about the coffee, reminds
you when everyone is gone.
You will see her in your dreams, but also
in your kitchen peering into your spice cabinet,
your oven that needs going over.
You find yourself singing
a song long out of mind, her song.
You feel her nudge you back
from the edge of curbs
and rash moves.
Leave a rocking chair empty and sooner or later,
it will move gently back and forth.
When you are troubled, sometimes
a hand smooths your forehead
and you sigh, forgetting for a moment
that you are alone, or think you are.
Walk in the green fields on a soft day
and listen. Hers is the voice your hear
calling you home.
Dolores Stewart
XO
WWW
PS
ReplyDeleteI just love the colours of those barns and sheds.
XO
WWW
I think there will always be THOSE moments. Incredible how time passes. Take care, hopefully things warm up. This cold weather needs to leave.
ReplyDeleteThank you to Wisewebwoman for the beautiful poem. I do sense Mom's presence with me; sometimes she's just in me, as I follow a lot of what she taught me. Not to the letter, but to the substance--I think she was wise about lots of things.
ReplyDeleteJulie