At age
12, it was my thighs. They were too fat! Please don’t make me wear that
figure-skating tutu on the carnival ice! Then it was my ass; it stuck out too
far. Then it was the hair on my arms; there was altogether too much of it, so
off it came. I only took that fool step once before giving it up completely.
I’m quite fond of the hair on my arms now, thank you very much.
On and on
throughout the years, these little dissatisfied focuses on different areas of
my body continued. The pores in the skin of my nose were too large. My boobs
weren’t the shape they should be. My belly was round instead of flat. I had too
much wiggle in my walk, or not enough. I had some crooked teeth.
Such neurotic little obsessions pop up to this day. The only difference is that by
now, in my mid-fifties, I have learned that if I don’t dwell on them, my preoccupation with them will pass before I do something
stupid (like the arm hair incident; it was perfectly normal arm hair, I tell you, and didn't deserve to be vanquished). I have turkey neck and a flat face? Big deal. My cleavage is wrinkly? Oh well. My
eyelids droop? I have craterous crowsfeet? Vertical lines above my lip? A visible moustache?
So what. Tomorrow, with any luck, I won’t even notice.
So what. Tomorrow, with any luck, I won’t even notice.
Three burr oaks; three perfect sisters. |
We're seeming to be following the same train of thought these days.
ReplyDeletePretty sure we're kindred spirits, Lorna.
Deletebeen there done that and have been way meaner to myself in the process. I despair of ever getting to the place where I'm not too fat...crazy talk.
ReplyDeleteOr even the place where we don't think we're too HEAVY! God. Let alone fat.
DeleteI was an anorectic at 14. What is this obsession with bodies?
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, I wish I'd been able to let the beauty myth go when I was in my teens.
XO
WWW
How great would that have been, to love and accept ourselves AS WE WERE right from the get-go.
DeleteThis posts feels very familiar. I'm envious of those woman who simply embrace themselves.
ReplyDeleteWho are those women? I don't think there are many under 50 or 60 years old. Unfortunately.
DeleteFood for thought! I seldom like what I see in the mirror, and seldom like the photographs that are taken of me.
ReplyDeleteHowever, after a number of years, when I look at those photos, I am surprised to find myself thinking, "hey, I looked pretty good!" If only I had felt that way at the time!
My thoughts exactly, Maggie. EXACTLY!
Delete