Tuesday, April 21, 2015

These Shoes

Even though you can’t control how you feel, you can manage how you react to those feelings. Instead of trying to ignore them or stuff them deeper inside, force them to identify themselves and let them know that you’re in charge.

Daphne Gray-Grant's writing tip, above, also applies to life itself. 
I had to go write it down.
I write down a lot of things I already know, because I need reminders. 

Then there are reminders I perhaps don't need.

These runners, kept at the bottom of the basement steps so that I won't track any alkaline dust around the floor when I return upstairs, remind me of a death that still pains me. I feel it every time I slip these shoes on; there is that moment of remembering.

I had gone to Shelly's to be with her for a week or two after Dale's passing, and one day her daughters invited us for a river-floating afternoon. I needed throw-away shoes to wear in the water and mud, and purchased these for $15.

We gals had a lovely day on the Pembina River. That, I like to be reminded of. Dale, I also like to remember. What happened to Dale, what Dale did — no.

Maybe it is time to get rid of these shoes.


  1. I was thinking the same thing, some objects just have too many sad associations attached to them! Keep the good memories, get rid of the shoes.

  2. I like that quote, I've always found it difficult to identify feelings at the time, only in hindsight I can label.

    Yes, and those shoes, not good if the association is so devastating. I'm guessing what happened to Dale.


    1. It was almost three years ago; it will be three years at the end of June. It's not that the memory is so devastating as that it's just THERE, like a lump of darkness in my solar plexus, every time I see those shoes.
      The entries from that time start at http://goldengrainfarm.blogspot.ca/2012/06/rough-sailing.html and continue for several weeks, off and on. I didn't post often while I was at Shelly's place after the funeral.
      I can report that she and the kids (all young adults) are doing really, really well.


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