Wednesday, August 19, 2015

The Little Things

If there’s an obituary written about me, it won’t say “She was a hard worker.” Around here, you’re only considered a hard worker if you grow a big garden, do lots of canning and cooking and yard work, perhaps run a farm, and so on. Physical labour. But repetitive physical labour bores me silly, so it’s not something I sign up for very often.

Mental labour is more interesting to me and I’m willing to put in long hours getting a job done that requires thinking, writing, planning, etc. However, that never counts toward making you a “hard worker,” at least not that I know of. Also, I value my free time and guard it. I avoid busyness; I want time to enjoy life outside of earning money and, of course, to get through the daily chores required to live in relative order and comfort. But I don't want those chores taking up one more moment of my day than is absolutely necessary.

Another word that will never describe me is “longsuffering.” Nosiree. If I don’t like something and have to cope with it repeatedly or for long, I’ll be doing or saying something about it. Some would call that “bitching” or “complaining” but I prefer to describe it as “telling it like it is.”

It's the little things.
So if I am irked with my spouse, for instance, he hears about it. On the flip side, I believe it's important to acknowledge people when they are good at something or have done something kind or thoughtful or generous or smart. 

One morning last week I got into the truck to drive to work and found a sprig of wild rose Scott had put there for me. It’s late for wild roses to be blooming and I appreciated his small gesture of gallantry, of knowing this would please me.

Yesterday he asked if I need to get anything to wear to Gunnar’s wedding. Maybe he was going to suggest we take a shopping trip, or offer to buy me a dress. A lot of men wouldn’t think of that. I don’t need anything, really, so the conversation didn’t go much further except that he gets a few extra “sweetie” points for the question.


8 comments:

  1. Kate, Scott sounds like a great guy. Of course great guys are not perfect, they are human, which makes you a great gal for sorting through the human issues, and getting down to the core of recognizing a great guy.

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    1. Yes, he has many great qualities, not least of which is a wonderful wit.

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  2. How sweet and considerate of Scott. Hope you have lots of fun at the wedding. Nobody is perfect and if you think long and hard about it I always say "we are SPECIAL" (quirky, difficult, etc) in some way or another.

    Since you asked I do Office Management + Accounting, along with Customer Relations. I do not garden!

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    1. Yes, he can be a real darling, no doubt about that.

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  3. Personally, I don't feel all hard work involves physical effort.

    It really is the little things that count - they hold a relationship together.

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    1. Some believe that mental work actually makes one more weary at the end of the day than physical labour does.

      I agree, the little things on a continuous basis are a stronger glue than any grand gesture.

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    2. If physical work is the criterion, I work hard on Monday, after the kids have been here on the weekend, and on one other day when I zip through the housework. I actually get something out of that, a kind of puritan sense of value. The rest of the time, like you, I'm thinking and writing and reading and making connections for people, and it can be exhausting.,

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    3. There's a lot of satisfaction in work that requires physical labour; you KNOW you've accomplished something, when you're done. The result of mental labour is far less visible. It still surprises me that I'm tired at the end of a day of sitting in an office chair, though. I expect to be full of piss and vinegar, and I'm not.

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