Monday, November 7, 2016

Can't You Take a Joke?

I married a guy whose humour was bitingly sarcastic and whose idea of fun when in company was to make me the butt of his "jokes." My friends didn't like it and I found it tiresome and it's one of the things that led to the end of our marriage: he wasn't my friend anymore and I didn't owe him my loyalty or devotion. He has since become aware of the tendency and has worked to discard it, and thinks he's been successful. I hope so. He deserves to be happy with his new sweetheart and she deserves — as did I — to be spoken to and about with consideration and respect.

Scott has a very different kind of wit but eventually he too crossed the line and I was constantly being teased. "Where's your sense of humour?" he'd say. "You used to like it." Indeed a little teasing is fun but too much falls flat and gets on my nerves. Often I'm not sure when he's serious and when he's trying to be funny. Apparently he needs to wear a grin when it's the latter, so I know.

I've observed other husbands whose conversations with or comments about their wives in my presence are almost pure teasing. I doubt they are conscious of what they are doing and how it may make their wives feel. I know the wives are not always entertained, though they try to be "good sports" about it. I hope those men wake up before they destroy some of the trust within their relationships.

I can't say it's always men who do this to women. I can only say that I haven't seen women do it to men as often, if at all. I wonder who the men are trying to impress. Other men? You tell me. I can tell you that what impresses other women is when a man speaks highly of his wife and treats her with affection in public as well as in private. Husbands like that are admired by women as much as men who are able and willing dancers.

A couple days of unseasonably warm weather are making us hopeful that the flax might yet come off the field this fall.


  1. tease: make fun of or attempt to provoke (a person or animal) in a playful way

    If someone wants to provoke me for their own amusement in front of other people, and I have enough respect for them that their words have any meaning and they are worth responding to, then the gloves are off. If they want to be playful in that way, then that is what we are doing. I can respond in kind, and I do it with startling swiftness and clarity. Everyone has a weak spot. People don't tease me twice.

    When I worked in Information Technology with predominantly young males, as an older woman, I was exposed to a lot of teasing. Males in groups can be quite nasty. It seemed to escalate because I didn't respond at all, just carried on as if nothing was going on. Eventually they tired of it all, particulary after one of them had gone way too far in front of the supervisor, caused problems for the customer in the process, and made an idiot of himself; I didn't have to do a thing. Those young bullies didn't deserve the time of day, and I didn't give it to them. Being treated with caution or ignored was far better than trying to be accepted by them.

  2. I like my mother can not stand t be teased.jokes should be fun.

  3. Teasing can often leave deep scars. Making fun of someone or putting someone down is not teasing in my eyes.

  4. my favorite : you are TOO sensitive

  5. A joke to one person may not be the same to another ♥


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