Birthday in the Field

Scott’s 57^th birthday is today. Now he can be as wise as me ... for the next four months.

And he has just gone out the door into the cold morning air, after sweating out some of his own cold overnight. I slept on the couch in hopes of avoiding catching it.

As I walk down the road these past few days you might hear my deep sighs of contentment and relaxation. The fall weather is glorious. 

I love being in the field at this time of year, so have asked if there is anything I can do to help. So far, not, but that may change. One year I drove the bale wagon around the field. Any time I’ve driven a tractor or combine I’ve liked it, although I wouldn’t if it was a super-hot day or if there were mosquitoes or horseflies getting into the cab. I'd be a fairweather farmer, right? These guys have a lot more stamina than I do. They've got mail carriers beat, too. 

As usual, it’s full-steam-harvest on Scott's birthday so we can’t plan anything. Last night I asked if he’d like a chocolate cake or had another preference. He thought not, as sweets aren't good for a cold. So maybe later, then.

Walking home from Scott's mom's place; best sky was always this stretch of road, when we lived in that farmyard 

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1. 
   Maggie Turneron Just Because

   Well, amen to that Kate! When silence is the response to something I've said, even if it is silence with a smile, if there is no eye contact, I always feel the tension, and sometimes I ask about it, depending on the circumstances. I know too that silence on my part, particularly if it is accompanied by a smile, is almost always interpreted as total agreement, which always takes me by surprise, because how could two humans ever totally agree on something that is expressed in language alone.
   
   Having said that, it is possible that I totally agree with you in never understanding people who put political ideals above human life, or even human liberty. It came of no surprise to me that democracy developed in a culture where slavery was the norm [Periclies], idiocy.

   "Silence is interpreted as agreement." Exactly. That's a serious misinterpretation. -K
2. 
   Julieon Just Because

   Hi,
   Good post. A lot of people are aware that they are "sensitive." This means to us, as I count myself among this group, that we are deeply affected by what others say to us. Lately, I noticed that habitually rude people are also deeply sensitive to what we, the supposedly kinder gentler folk, say to them. I began to think that people who are often critical and angry are just as sensitive to what is said to them and they are choosing offense rather than defense to protect their gentle selves. All this is psychology, I guess, which is a system of thought that has its limitations. I think we all need to get over our childhoods, once we have become a bit more aware of how that time influenced us, and we need to live in the present.
   
   As you say, harsh words do affect people and should be used sparingly, I figure. Such unnecessary damage, really!

   And I'm not even talking particularly about "harsh" words. They are sometimes quite matter-of-fact and sometimes they are even true words, but often we don't think twice about whether they should be said or whether it's our place to say them. I'm all for honesty and directness, but I'm also all for kindness and consideration, and sometimes there's a conflict that isn't taken into account when we run off at the mouth being all truthful. - K
3. 
   Joan McEwan on Just Because
4. Oh oh..... What did I say?????

Ha Ha! As soon as I posted "Just Because" I received a text asking who I was pissed off at. 

I was actually thinking about the times I've said things that probably offended someone else, but that person didn't say so. -K.

1. 
   Annette Ericksonon Just Because

   So, so many times I've wanted to turn back time so I could say what I had to say but, the moment which would have been appropriate to say so has passed and doing so would no longer be relevant or appropriate. Some of us just take longer to formulate our thoughts into words, especially when we don't have a pen in our hands or a keyboard at our fingertips.

That's right. Also, we can say things with all good intentions, and they can be misinterpreted by someone who has a soft spot we weren't aware of. -K.

Just Because

Just because someone doesn’t react immediately doesn’t mean they aren’t hurt, offended or angry. Just because they only say “Oh” doesn’t mean they agree with you.

How many times I’ve spoken my mind and assumed no harm was done. I didn’t intend any, so my words were taken in stride, right?

Well no, not necessarily. We are often shocked by blunt truths as well as unkind judgments or rude and uncalled-for, poorly thought-out remarks, and don’t respond in the moment they are heard. As the day wears on, we think about what was said, our feelings surface, and we become aware of our genuine, deeper response. We may find ourselves quite pissed off, although the perfect moment to say so to the speaker has passed.

We could’ve said “this,” we think, or “that,” but we didn’t think fast enough. Maybe we didn’t want to seem rude or unkind ourselves or make a scene, so we let it go. Maybe we thought the speaker was a fool and correcting him or her was a waste of energy. We may not be engaging with this person again or often, so there’s no point in taking him or her to task. 

What I’m saying is that just because your listener doesn’t tell you to shut the hell up, fuck off and mind your own business, you idiot, doesn’t mean that isn’t exactly what they are thinking.

Showers have made it difficult to get the baling done.

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Lorna on "Frida": 

I find Frida fascinating but not very lovable. And that's from the woman known as Pollyanna. 

Those who knew her said she was charming, had quick, light movements like a hummingbird, and was generous and loving to her friends and many others. 

What I find difficult to reconcile is how she could ever have become a supporter of Stalin. What was she thinking? He was a murderous thug and everyone knew it. I'll never understand how it is that otherwise sensible people put political ideals before human life. Never.

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I Still Miss Someone

"Written by Johnny Cash, made famous by Dolly Parton."

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Maggie Turner on "Frida": 

Condolences to Scott and the family. What a wonderful ritual, sons and grandsons building the coffin, so respectful and full of love.

I also find Frida Kahlo a fascinating individual, thanks for the link. 

Thank you, I'll pass that along. 

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Frida

I didn't do much reading over the summer. This I know because it took me more than a month to finish the biography of Frida Kahlo. It was borrowed from a friend, so there was no need to be concerned about overdue notices from the library, where I get most of my reading material. I took the book at a leisurely pace, often in short increments, till the very end. 

Poor Frida. What a hard life she had. I mean, a lot of physical suffering and a lot of emotional pain. Perhaps the two go hand-in-hand. But she certainly met her days with courage and stamina, and consciously made the best of what she had to work with. 

The book also helped me make sense of her paintings by delving into the symbolism in each one. I need that; when meaning isn't obvious, I miss a lot. Before these explanations, I found many of Kahlo's paintings macabre and even childish. Now, after becoming acquainted with her better, I understand that she knew herself very well and knew that it is the personal in life that is the most important thing to share. She knew that the personal is universal, and that what one of us feels intensely, we all experience at some time or other.  

Here is one of my favourites: 

Frida with her favourite "escuincle" dog.

It's the tiny "escuincle" dog that amuses me so much. Frida actually had a number of hairless Xoloitzcuintli dogs. Perhaps "escuincle" was her way of spelling it in English, or maybe it was her nickname for the dog, but the word itself is funny (to me).

Frida, after a traffic accident that nearly killed her, endured severe medical treatments for the rest of her short life. Some were torture. She had to wear body casts or corsets that kept her immobile for months sometimes. She often painted them:

I've seen the movie Frida once before, starring Salma Hayek, but now I want to see it again.

Here is a documentary where a lot of spoken text is taken directly from the bio I just read, by Hayden Herrera:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4gkhUDofKY

And now I must get a move on. There is a coffin to be built in our yard. Scott's dad passed away on Wednesday afternoon and this is a labour of love that Scott is sharing with his son and other family members. I am going to make a vat of BEAN DISH so they have something to snack on when they come in to warm up, as it's cool and rainy out there. 

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Maggie Turner on "Tricking the Lazy Self": 

That old familiar inertia! Where does it come from I wonder. I have to talk myself into going for my walk almost every day. Your approach using incremental conditions works for me too, it is like priming a pump. 

I'm glad I'm not the only one who needs to play games with herself in order to do what is healthy for a mind and body. I get kind of down on myself for not being more disciplined and ambitious, when maybe this is simply human nature. 

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Lorna on "Tricking the Lazy Self": 

Trickster! 

You called it. I love harmless tricks.
Since my friend Cathy, the laundry queen, told me you can dye fabrics in your washing machine, I do it all the time. Yesterday I decided to dye the white kitchen curtains a wine colour, like the ones in the living room. Except they came out pink instead. I am not happy with myself; should've checked to see what the fabric was, first. Anyway, I've hung them back up for now (I see shopping in my future) and have been waiting for Scott to notice and comment. He hasn't, or if he has, he hasn't said a word. If he does, I'm going to pretend they've always been that colour. 

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Tricking the Lazy Self

One might think it would be easy to make a habit of getting outside every day, but sometimes the thought of a brisk three-mile walk is daunting enough that I'll find excuses not to go, or allow myself to be distracted by other activities and responsibilities and forget until it's getting dark and unsafe to be on the road with a little dog.

So I play a game of strategy. I tell myself that I only have to go to the end of the driveway, and there I'll decide whether to carry on and for how long. This works quite well because if I'm dressed for action — half the battle because Saskatchewan weather often requires a fleecy, a windbreaker, a scarf, a hat, and ear protection even in the summer, and I also carry a bottle of water, my iPhone in case I want to listen to a podcast, and a notebook and pen in case "profound revelations" come to me — the fresh air and birdsong and trees and sky tend to draw me further out, so I don't want to come back in. If I don't have all this stuff with or on me but get out there anyway, the outdoors can be so compelling that it's no problem to come back into the porch and gear up to walk further.

Early morning walk; where the driveway meets the road. 

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Maggie Turner on "Peaceful Mind": 

Peace of Mind, I too could use some of that right now!

LOVE your photo, very peaceful. 

And still a few ducks on that little pond, too.

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Maggie Turner on "Throwing Out the Stopwatch": 

Those are two happy looking dogs! 

They like nothing better than running.

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Throwing Out the Stopwatch

What if I stop counting? 

Stop counting miles while walking, breaths while holding yoga poses, and dollars in my pocket. 

Just stop.

I think I’ll do that.

I greet Lucy and Sara one morning on my way to town. They are Scott's brother's dogs.

They're following a tractor to our place but take a moment to say hello.

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Lorna on Flowery Speech": 

I have no comment, only awe at the undertaking. 

I've been a slacker in the garden most of the summer so I'm ready for this. Any hesitation is due to my desire to find good homes for the flowers. A couple people have spoken for some, which helps. I refuse to throw them on a dirt pile to die.

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Flowery Speech

There's always a sheet of paper on the go that contains my plans for changes to next year's flower beds. 

Last year I decided to let the shasta daisies go crazy in the main perennial bed this summer. They looked good, but the new plan is to dig them all out and make space for a shitload of giant zinnias next year. They're an annual that is large, bright, tall, multi-coloured, beautiful, and will bloom throughout the entire season if I'm lucky. 

I'm going to dig out all the pink speedwells; there are about a dozen bordering the curved front edge of the flowerbed, but they are now crowding the columbines behind them as well as the lawn in front, making it difficult for Scott to mow the grass there. Plus the flowerbed is so packed that I can't walk into it without damaging plants, and getting in there with my trusty horseshoe hoe is impossible. I have to do all the weeding by hand, and it's not a small area. 

The blue flax is coming out; I love it, but not there. It needs another location, which at this point I can't offer it without digging another flower bed and ending up with more than I have time to take good care of. If there is much more that requires weeding and deadheading and pruning, it will become a chore rather than a delight. Thus I limit myself to the flower beds that I already have, rather than taking advantage of the large farmyard that we have and creating a bunch more. 

The painted daisies planted in the same bed as my climbing rose are coming out because the rose needs the bed to itself, I figure; for the same reason (and because I have to weed out the grass by hand and can never keep on top of it), the pink dianthus are coming out of there too. 

Maltese crosses are also going to be removed. There are enough of them under the oak trees, where the daisies have also become plenteous in the dappled shade, where I didn't expect them to. Neither of these will be missed in the main flower bed because I will get my fill elsewhere. 

My only weaknesses now shall be brown-eyed susans and lupins, two perennials that I'm smitten with but haven't had much luck with so far. I won't go looking for them, but if they're spotted in a greenhouse, I'll buy. I know it. There are some flowers this girl simply cannot pass up.

The one remaining browneyed susan plant in the garden. 

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Lori on "Peaceful Mind": 

The Peaceful Mind blend...hmm, I could sure use some of that today. Did you make it yourself? I used to dabble in aromatherapy recipes years ago. Although I'm allergic to perfume, essential oils are O.K. 

A friend gave these bottles to me. The only one I mix myself is the Grief Blend (on my page Letter of Comfort; see above), which goes directly into the bathwater. 

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Lorna on "Peaceful Mind": 

I have had nothing but positive response to aromatherapy, but never think about it when I put drops of vanilla oil on my wrists and neck....maybe I'm being more affected than I thought. 

That's what they say: it's making a difference whether you're aware of it, or believe it, or not. 

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Peaceful Mind

One day I noticed the three small bottles of aromatherapy oils on a shelf above my desk and realized I have not been using them lately. I immediately chose “Peaceful Mind” and applied some drops to my wrists, temples and throat. 

Later while walking down the driveway there was this most sweet pungent aroma and I thought What is that?!, revelling in the scent of some as-yet-unidentified plant  … before realizing it was me with the oils on my skin. What a good laugh I had at myself!

The Peaceful Mind blend: chamomile, cedarwood, lavender, orange, marjoram.

If you're interested in aromatherapy, see LETTER OF COMFORT, my page about it.

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Maggie Turner on "Hello September": 

It was a perfect first day of September here in Ontario too Kate! The humidity was low, and the temperture reached 23C, and felt like it, the sun shone all day... perfect, first nice day of the summer as far as I am concerned. 

23 is a perfect temperature, I have to agree.

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Teresa on "Hello September": 

What a summer! Enjoy the long weekend. Hope it's nice. 

Coolish today and windy, but I'd rather that than the muggy heat we had yesterday. I like fall weather. I like all weather now that I've finally figured out how to dress for it! Took me long enough. 

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Hello September

It's the most beautiful September day ever.

I'm working, so can't be outdoors to soak in much of it, but I step out on my breaks and plan to walk later, once it's cooled down a bit. Didn't force myself out the door first thing this morning, as coffee beckoned and so did the armchair, a biography of Frida Kahlo, and Ducky Doodle, who needs his cuddle.

Just gorgeous though. The kind of day that makes life worth living. 

My purple coneflower crop. 

Workin' at Home

What makes a day start out tired? I was up by 7:30 and out the door for a walk after one cup of coffee, but had only gone two miles when I found myself exhausted. Granted, I hadn't eaten anything or taken a water bottle and was a bit sweaty, but it wasn't hot out there. Scott stopped to talk to me on his way to check cattle, and I asked him to drive me home. I don't think I've ever done that before. 

I went on to start a batch of bread (Everett will get five loaves, we'll keep one), throw two loads of laundry in, and spend the day doing newspaper work from my home office. The day was gone before I knew it. There was no time to sit out on the back step and watch the clouds, but during short breaks from the computer I stood out there for a few minutes of fresh air. 

There have been frequent showers, enough to keep farmers out of the fields, and yet my potted plants were parched. I happened to notice and give them a drink. By this time of year I've started ignoring my flowers quite a bit. Shame on me; poor things practically have to fend for themselves lately.

Both these photos were taken at the same time.

Nighty Night.

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Lorna on "Just Hangin' About": 

I rush around in the morning---got a schedule, things to do, floors to sweep etc. but as I live in a small place, that leaves me hours when I can walk or read or shop or get my temper up on Facebook. On the days Dave works, that rush to leisure is sure to be successful. When he's home we often get sidetracked by things like money and politics. Today he's at work, I'm on my second coffee and planning to troll the internet in hopes of finding ideas about storage in small places. See, it's not that much to be envied. 

It sounds pretty good to me; a nice way to pass the day. 

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Teresa on "Just Hangin' About": 

Things have been full tilt here. Packed up the grand kids and Mom this morning. Home alone after 5 weeks of rotating guests. Looking forward to the calm. Well kinda, have to clean the house first. 

You need to sleep for 20 years!

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