|Perking along in the morning|
|Bedraggled after a rainy day|
“Love, like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots keeping itself alive.” ― Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept
For me the roots are like when I remind myself of the early days of being together, the obvious admiration he had for me, also my own blood tradition of families who stayed married for 50 years or more. The roots might include our own determination and a higher power which breathes life into everything.
Another thing I learned is that I blame him before considering my own behavior which is all too common in every breakup. If I do what I can to cooperate, it helps.
Just some thoughts.
For me, the roots are the day-to-day living, or what you once phrased "fundamental caring."
You might be mad, or hurt, or disgusted, or disappointed, or disheartened, or whatever, but you don't stop loving on a very basic level (the roots). So the rest of it, above or on the surface, is like the emotions - changeable like the weather, as you once also said.
I always assume I have a causative part in what happens, though I sure as hell don't always see what it is, and have started to wonder whether it's true or not, or just one of those beliefs we accept in a blanket way not based on our own observation.
Just some more thoughts,