Monday, November 7, 2016

Can't You Take a Joke?

I married a guy whose humour was bitingly sarcastic and whose idea of fun when in company was to make me the butt of his "jokes." My friends didn't like it and I found it tiresome and it's one of the things that led to the end of our marriage: he wasn't my friend anymore and I didn't owe him my loyalty or devotion. He has since become aware of the tendency and has worked to discard it, and thinks he's been successful. I hope so. He deserves to be happy with his new sweetheart and she deserves — as did I — to be spoken to and about with consideration and respect.

Scott has a very different kind of wit but eventually he too crossed the line and I was constantly being teased. "Where's your sense of humour?" he'd say. "You used to like it." Indeed a little teasing is fun but too much falls flat and gets on my nerves. Often I'm not sure when he's serious and when he's trying to be funny. Apparently he needs to wear a grin when it's the latter, so I know.

I've observed other husbands whose conversations with or comments about their wives in my presence are almost pure teasing. I doubt they are conscious of what they are doing and how it may make their wives feel. I know the wives are not always entertained, though they try to be "good sports" about it. I hope those men wake up before they destroy some of the trust within their relationships.

I can't say it's always men who do this to women. I can only say that I haven't seen women do it to men as often, if at all. I wonder who the men are trying to impress. Other men? You tell me. I can tell you that what impresses other women is when a man speaks highly of his wife and treats her with affection in public as well as in private. Husbands like that are admired by women as much as men who are able and willing dancers.

A couple days of unseasonably warm weather are making us hopeful that the flax might yet come off the field this fall.